At YOUR age.....?

In 2010 I worked as an occupational nurse.  I liked the job, but things out of my controlled slowly began making the environment more and more unpleasant.  I decided to quit, and used the excuse that I was going back to school to get a Master's degree.  So....I gave my 2 weeks notice, and my last day was August 19, 2010.  Little did I know, the next class at UTEP started on August 23, 4 days later!  Poor planning!  So I scrambled, made a quick appointment talk to the Dean about why I was the best candidate for one of the few spots still available in the program.  It was one of my better moments!

I soon found out there were more than a few spots still open.....like 40 spots.  That should have been my first clue that I had made the wrong decision.  I can't even begin to explain why I say that, because the answer is so vast, complex and sad for purposes of this blog.  But I will try.

That weekend before classes started, I bought new "school clothes,"  books and pencils!  I was so excited.  Monday morning, I discovered I could go to class in my pajamas, because the entire program, with a few exceptions, was online!  How can a Nurse Practitioner program be online?  I'm still trying to figure that out, even tho I've already graduated!

One of Rocky's nephew's said "All nurse practitioners ever do is write papers," and that's why he didn't want to join up.  I was very protective of my decision at that time, and thought he was a dope, but he was right on target!  That's all we did for 18 months.  I wrote papers on apoptosis, nurse-to-nurse bullying....all kinds of things that would not help me become a better NP.  That's what happens when the professors leave us up to our own resources!  We were supposed to read each others' papers (they were posted online) and make in-depth comments.  My apoptosis paper received only one comment....."Good job!"  I guess that's all they could think to say.

Poor Rocky - he's a saint!  When he would come home from work, almost every day I would be sitting at the kitchen table crying.  He was so kind and patient....for about a month.  Then he said, "OK, here's the deal.  There's no crying in medicine!"  I was so lost and in over my head, and now I couldn't even cry!  Well, I still cried, just all alone in my bedroom or in my car!  How pathetic is that? 

I was warned about the "30 pound weight gain."  But there I was, being able to sit down all day long and just read and write.  That was a dream come true for me!! But wow! I think I sailed past 30 pounds the first month!  It's just awful!  So, that's my new challenge.

I'm pretty computer saavy, but "Blackboard," the program we used for the online program came with it's own set of challenges.  We had to "post" on time, which means you had to turn in your papers on time.  When I missed a deadline due to a program malfunction, I would have to beg my professors to open the board again and let me post because........"  Their standard answer was "No!"  That's when I went to work trying to make them see the folly of their decision.  I was always successful.

After 3 semesters, we all started our clinical rotations.  We had to find our own preceptors!  My first rotation was pediatrics, and my preceptor was unpleasant and intolerant.  I guess she expected more from me since I was old enough to be her grandmother.  Heck, I was old enough to be the physicians' grandmother!  After 70 hours of pediatrics, I moved on to 70 hours of Women's Health, where my preceptor was a dream.  Her office partner, who was also wonderful and taught me so much, turned to me one day and asked "What were you thinking?" Another reference to my age!  By this time I was thinking the exact same thing!  What WAS I thinking?

Christmas vacation couldn't come fast enough, but to my dismay, we had to sign up for a crash course in complementary and alternative medicine.  It was 8 hours a day for 14 days, in an actual classroom, with an actual class leader.  Interesting experience......that's all I'm sayin'!

The next year we had to sign up for another class during Christmas vacation.  It was a full-term course, and we were required to do it in 2 weeks.  What a nightmare!  We worked at least 12 hours a day, and had to work in groups.  My group members lived in San Antonio, Ft. Worth and Dallas.  Group work is so  hard at best, but under those conditions, it's almost impossible. We had a major paper due every day.  I started crying again, even in front of Rocky.