Patti's Revenge

This picture may not be as goofy as the one of Patti, but it's very close! (Love the bangs!)

The Search Continues

We looked through the boxes of old pictures for the famous crown picture, but to no avail. But we did find this....

Preparing for the hard times.

I don't know where to begin on this one because part of it is so ridiculous, and the rest of it is beyond mine and Patti's capacity to make sense of it ourselves!

Here's the part that's ridiculous, but you have to remember, this is what we think. We don't know why we think this, but nontheless....

Patti seems to think that when (and if) really hard times hit, she'll be living in her backyard. Her house will be vacant and available to her, but she'll still be in the backyard. I, on the other hand, think I'll be living in my garage, while I have a perfectly good house inches away. But I have a different problem. My house won't be vacant because Osama Bin Laden will be living there with two other men, and of course they won't let us in. This is all faulty thinking, we know, but that's what keeps going thru our minds.

Patti plans on riding her bike to my house as needed with two buckets tied to a

stick across her shoulders, or with jarros on her head, then going back home with water from the pool. This is of course, if she hasn't planned far enough ahead to store an exceptionally large amount of water of her own. She at one time, had quite a lot of wheat, but her tiny little pot-bellied pig Tocino, got into it, ate it all and turned into a huge, disgusting, smelly farm animal-type pig! So FYI, if you have a pot-bellied pig, and you want him to remain small, don't feed him wheat.

Patti thinks I'm an idiot for wanting to have enough dog food around. While Gunner eats pork chops and fried chicken (canned of course), Xander and Bo could drop dead for all she cares!

The part that is "beyond our capacity" will have to wait because I'm off to Houston.

Hey, Bob, when are you going to post another blog? This is getting boring. Love, your sister

Restitution

Since Patti won't blog anything, I'm going to start posting her "drafts" even tho these pictures look like something you'd post on Ebay! Part of my resitution for denting her car, involved a few things, but she wanted a red purse, so I bought her a red purse. She added these pictures, probably planning to say something nice about the whole incident (or not!) but never posted them. So, I'm doing it for her. Patti, you have a couple of really lame drafts that actually repeat each other, so if you don't want them posted as is, you need to get on the stick. From your loving sister!

True Confessions!

I made Patti promise we'd never tell what happened, but I'm the one who needs to confess, and this takes the pressure off Patti, who I know is DYING to tell the story. She says she hasn't told a soul, but I don't believe her.

She and I drove to the Colonies last February to surprise Jennifer on her birthday. Jen was so surprised when she saw us, she started crying. It was very sweet and nice that we could pull it off (with alot of help!) While we were there we were able to watch President Hinckley's funeral services on TV.

Anyway, on the way home, Patti wasn't feeling well so I offered to drive while she slept in the back seat. We got all the way across the border at Santa Teresa and were on the home stretch on the airport road that leads to McNutt. Patti was in the front seat by now and we were talking and laughing and cruising along, probably going a little faster than I should have been. All of a sudden, there was a huge curve in the road and because I was going too fast, I couldn't navigate the curve and went off the road into the dirt. The stop sign at McNutt and the airport road was looming in the short distance, but because of the soft dirt it was real hard to control the car. Patti's thinking "Is she gonna hit it?" and I'm thinking "I'm gonna hit the stop sign and there's nothing I can do about it!!"

Wham-o! No horrendous crash or anything like that. The stop sign just laid down softly in the dirt! The bumper of Patti's car has a scratch on it the width of the stop sign pole and that was it. It wasn't even dented!

We just looked at each other to make sure we were both OK, then Patti got the bright idea to switch seats in case the cops came. I still don't understand her thinking on that one because it was dark and no one was around and there were no witnesses. But Patti got out of the car anyway with just her socks on, and stepped into a bunch of goat's head stickers. Her feet were full of them by the time she got around to the drivers side.

So off we went, and this is when I made her swear not to tell ANYONE! She said "Oh no!! I'm telling everyone about this!" Then I guess she felt sorry for me and said she'd keep it to herself, but I'm still not sure she ever did!

I offered to pay for the damage to her car, but she wouldn't hear of it. The next day, I ended up telling Rocky, because I figured he was going to have to pay for it eventually, even tho Patti didn't want me to worry about it.

I tell you this story now, because yesterday I finally was able to make restitution with Patti for the damage to her car. So that part's over with, but I still feel guilty about the stop sign issue. I drove to the "scene of the crime" the next day and the stop sign was upright again. It wasn't damaged at all!

So now, dear readers, I have a dilemma. Should I drop it, or should I go to the police and offer to pay for re-installing the stop sign? I'd probably feel alot better about it, even if they give me a ticket, but what if they put me in JAIL??

Reaaarrrrr!

I wasn't aware this "fun" blog was going to turn into a cat fight! You gotta admit, Patti, roaches in your purse is not a good thing. Besides, when she told me the story about the roach crawling out of her purse, of course she was humiliated, but was also laughing so hard she was wheezing! I guess it's better it happened at an auto parts store on Alameda than Walmart. They're probably used to that sort of thing!

AND if you had seen the chocolate candy bar wrapping, you would have recoiled too. However.....after examining it closely, the candy appeared intact and relatively clean, and fair game. About the offer being made "kindly and generously??" Well, that part is highly debatable. Patti had her thumb on one corner of the candy bar and sort of flipped it at me, kind of like dealing cards, but she never let go of it. I had to pry it from her hands. But it was really good candy! Thanks, Pat.

I'm not delighting in telling our faithful readers about your unfortunate experiences, Patti. But what else are we going to write about? Even Kristen said you provided most of the fodder for our sad, pathetic lives.

Jenny, your comment shook me to my core. It caused me to take account of where my life could be headed and I will snap to immediately!

Chocolate in Church

Just a response to "Roaches," in which Bobbi delighted in telling the story of my unfortunate experience at the store, which wasn't Hobby Lobby or WalMart, by the way. It happened at an automotive store down on Alameda Street, for the record.
Anyway, getting to my story which illustrates why Bobbi should be more appreciative of the contents of my purse: A few weeks ago, during Sunday School, I believe it was, I'm fumbling around in my purse and discover half of a large chocolate bar in a torn wrapper, being that it's half eaten already. I get it out of my purse and kindly and generously offer some of it to Bobbi. She looks at it disgustedly, makes a comment about the poor condition of the wrapper and about the contents of my purse in general, takes it and shows the whole thing to Rocky who just shakes his head, if I remember right. The next thing I know, however, she has apparently and quickly overcome her aversion to the poorly wrapped chocolate and has scarffed down not only her share, but mine as well! So I think Bobbi should show a little more appreciation for my purse and the contents thereof, which once provided her chocolate fix at church!

Roaches!

I'll never forget the story Patti told me when she was at Walmart or Hobby Lobby, two of her favorite haunts, and she was digging thru her purse trying to find money to pay, when a roach crawled out of her purse and scurried across the counter! I was mortified just hearing the story, but if any of you have seen Patti's purse, it's really not all that surprising.

What Ed said, revisited.

Since we're on the subject, this is the first thing that came to my mind: Patti, Ed, Rocky and I were sitting in Patti's kitchen and for some reason were talking about Osama Bin Laden and other terrorists. Patti was washing dishes and had her back to us. All of a sudden, Ed proclaimed that Patti would be the perfect terrorist. We were astounded, as you can imagine, but Patti didn't even turn around! Ed went on to say that because Patti is so tall, she could carry alot of dynamite around her chest and waist and no one would be the wiser. I wish I'd had a camera to snap the look on Patti's face when she finally did turn around!! It was priceless.

What Ed Said

Patti is thinking that "What Ed Said" could become a regular feature depending on the response of our 6 devoted readers. Today's "What Ed Said" started out with a comment from Patti regarding Wylie Coyote and how he used a lot of dynamite in his efforts to outwit the Roadrunner. Ed's response was that nowadays it is "socially unacceptable" to make any jokes about dynamite because of "all the federal buildings being blown up" and that "it's not like it used to be in the good old days when you could blow up anything you wanted to!"